This quote was my background for the first year after my
husband ex-husband left me after 20+ years of marriage.
Well I crazily wanted him to come back. I wanted to not be a part of a failed marriage… a broken family…a single mom.
Now that the dust has settled so to speak and I am healing I know I wanted him back not because he treated me so well and showered me with love and affection, because he did not…not at all. Far from it in fact.
I was not his wife, I was the woman who lived in his house, cared for the children I gave birth to that he helped create, I was the cook, the chauffeur, the maid, the accountant and the person that was always there to pick him up when depression hit. I did not get help, affection or love from him.
I wanted him back for our kids.
I wanted him back because I was initially afraid of being alone.
I wanted him back because I did not want to a statistic.
I wanted him back because I could not accept failure.
I really needed my head examined to want to return to that.
I may be single now, but I have found peace and happiness.
More happiness than I ever thought I would be able to find.
I know I deserve to have a man in my life that will treat me with love, respect and dignity and I have the confidence now behind me to tell them to hit the door if they do not bring that to the table. But I also know I am a whole person without a man in my life.
I have found my way back to the person I was before I was married and ever so slowly lost who I was, my identity.
And you know what?
I LOVE me!!