screenThis quote was my background for the first year after my husband ex-husband left me after 20+ years of marriage.

Why?

Well I crazily wanted him to come back. I wanted to not be a part of a failed marriage… a broken family…a single mom.

Now that the dust has settled so to speak and I am healing I know I wanted him back not because he treated me so well and showered me with love and affection, because he did not…not at all. Far from it in fact.

I was not his wife, I was the woman who lived in his house, cared for the children I gave birth to that he helped create, I was the cook, the chauffeur, the maid, the accountant and the person that was always there to pick him up when depression hit. I did not get help, affection or love from him.

I wanted him back for our kids.

I wanted him back because I was initially afraid of being alone.

I wanted him back because I did not want to a statistic.

I wanted him back because I  could not accept failure.

I really needed my head examined to want to return to that.

I may be single now, but I have found peace and happiness.

More happiness than I ever thought I would be able to find.

I know I deserve to have a man in my life that will treat me with love, respect and dignity and I have the confidence now behind me to tell them to hit the door if they do not bring that to the table. But I also know I am a whole person without a man in my life.

I have found my way back to the person I was before I was married and ever so slowly lost who I was, my identity.

And you know what?

I LOVE me!!

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